盲目的爱情让婚姻更幸福? - 人生感悟 - 慢点书栈
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盲目的爱情让婚姻更幸福?

作者: 慢一点 发布: 2013-10-15 分类: 人生感悟 阅读: 次 查看评论

They say that love is blind. And that’s probably for the best. Because a new study shows that people who greatly idealize their spouses have the happiest marriages. For the first few years, anyway. The research appears in the journal Psychological Science.

Most people mentally accentuate their partners’ better qualities. At least during courtship. If we didn’t, who would ever tie the knot? But some folks take these fantasies to cartoonish extremes. Now, you’d think such people are in for a rude awakening when they realize they married a real human being with real human flaws. But this new study says it isn’t so.

Researchers recruited 222 newlywed couples and followed them for three years. They periodically asked the subjects to describe themselves and their partners. And they found that people who maintained the most unrealistic view of their better halves were actually the most satisfied with their marriage.

When the honeymoon’s over, it could be that those who idealize their mates may be more likely to forgive the transgressions that arise when people are no longer on their best behavior. Whatever the reason, the study suggests that couples should exchange rings-and rose-colored glasses.

人说爱情是盲目的,很可能这样最好。一项新的研究表明,将配偶大大理想化的人拥有最幸福的婚姻——至少最初几年是这样。该项研究发表于《心理科学》期刊。

很多人总是更多地看到伴侣身上的优点——至少在求爱期。要不是这样,又怎会结此良缘?但有些人将此幻想过分夸大了。你可能会想,当这些人意识到他们嫁(娶)的也不过是一个有着各种缺点的普通人时,一定会恍然惊醒。相反,这项研究表明其实并非如此。

研究者招募了222对新婚夫妇,做了3年的跟踪研究。他们定期让研究对象描述自己及其伴侣。他们发现,那些一直对自己“更好的另一半”持有过于理想看法的人,最满意自己的婚姻。

当蜜月结束,人不再处于最佳表现状态时,那些将配偶理想化的人更可能原谅配偶后来出现的种种“不如人意”。不论原因为何,该研究结果都表明,新人在交换戒指时,也交换下“玫瑰色的眼镜”吧。

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